Yesterday, somebody commented here pointing out that local authority officers might try and manipulate children into saying that that they would rather be at school. This was thought to be a particular danger if the child were allowed to speak alone to such people.
As far as local authority officers asking loaded questions and trying to manoeuvre a child into saying that he wishes to go to school rather than be home educated; of course this happens. It is however only half the story. Local authorities may do this, but so too do parents. Some do it when their children express the desire to stay at home and not go to school. They say things like, ‘Wouldn’t you miss your friends if you were at home with me all day?’ Home educating parents do the same sort of thing to keep their children with them. A child might say that he wishes to go back to school and his mother will say, ‘Oh, don’t you like being with me any more?’ Local authorities are not the only people capable of asking trick questions!
It is not uncommon to see home educating mothers posting on the lists and forums, saying that their children have asked to go to school. Other members of the lists suggest helpful little bits of emotional blackmail and other tricks the parent can try to dissuade their kids from pursuing this reckless course of action. Not one person ever posts the correct answer for these mothers, which is: ‘Let the bloody child go to school if he wants, you selfish witch!’
Hmmm, fair point I guess. I have seen lots of parents use this tact with children. Not just HE parents though, lots seem to do it. "You wont grow big and strong" for a reluctant eater, or "your teeth will go rotten" for a child who hates to brush.
ReplyDeleteI have seen some of the things you describe of homeschooling parents on forums, but it doesn't really make it ok for a random stranger or outside party to use this tact either.
"Let the bloody child go to school if he wants, you selfish witch!"
ReplyDeleteCould this not lead to "the rights of the child" conflicting with "the parental duties to ensure the child receives an efficient education".
yeah and I 'allowed' my son to decide he wanted to try school- there's another 'failed parent point from people like Simon Webb for being such an 'autonomous' family and 'letting' a child make decisions.
ReplyDeleteThen when he decided after 4 terms that he school had become rather boring and that he wanted to return to home schooling- well of course people could complain about my lack of consistency amd making him stick with it.
You cannot win .
Any parent who chooses something that is not considered mainstream will have that choice analyzed under a microscope and probably that choice will be used as a stick to beat them with- especially home schooling and especially it seems on this blog.
Y'know whatever choices ones makes I am sure Simon Webb will find a way of making that choice look bad.
What his motives are for wanting to make public every possible negative connotation with home schooling and the way he discredits anyone who does not do it the way he did is is anyone's guess. It would make a fun comments section and I bet quite a few folks are wondering just when his daughter will come out with what it was really like for her being raised by such an ass.
'what it was really like for her being raised by such an ass.'
ReplyDeleteIs this an Americanism or an anachronism? Does the writer mean that I am an arse, spelt in the American style, or an ass, meaning a silly fellow. I have not heard this expression being used outside PG Wodehouse books for many years!
Simon.
I'll be somewhat controversial (not to you, Simon, but perhaps to others on here!) and say that children don't always know what's best for them.
ReplyDeleteI was sent to an independent school I didn't like at all as a child, and constantly badgered my parents to send me to the local state school. I really, really wanted to go - I felt -very- strongly about it, because my friends in my local area, most of whom went to the 'regular' local school, had told me all about why state schools were better. They had even used the classic anti-home-ed arguments, which I believed: they told me that independent school kids were isolated, not socially 'normal', were only at private schools because they would be bullied at state ones, had pushy parents, and wouldn't be able to handle the 'real world' when we encountered state school students in the workplace! (home ed, I should add, wasn't an option for us, for various reasons, though it's what I'm planning for my own children.)
My parents always said no - they had seen how poor the education on offer at the local school was, and had also seen that girls and boys there were studying different subjects from very early on, with both sides losing out on very important parts of a rounded education. They saw the behavior of the children from the local school, and how they treated each other when teachers weren't watching them. They were willing to make huge economic and personal sacrifices to get something better for my siblings and I.
It wasn't 'selfish' of them to insist on my not getting my way. They knew better than I did, and they were absolutely right not to give me my way, no matter how hard I begged, and how much easier for them it would have been to send me to the local school. As an adult, I now know they were absolutely right - I didn't much like my school, but I have benefited tremendously from the education I got there - my childhood friends did not get nearly as much out of their experiences. Home ed parents have every right to do the same thing my parents did, and insist on the option they have chosen for their children, regardless of their children's immediate wishes.
"I'll be somewhat controversial (not to you, Simon, but perhaps to others on here!) and say that children don't always know what's best for them."
ReplyDeleteHardly controversial, since it's the majority view in this country and within home education.
"Home ed parents have every right to do the same thing my parents did, and insist on the option they have chosen for their children, regardless of their children's immediate wishes."
Well that's the beauty of living in a free(ish) country. We can each take the approach that suits our individual family best. There is no way we could live the life your parent's chose for your family, but each to their own. I would defend their right to make the choices they made.
Simon wrote,
ReplyDelete"Not one person ever posts the correct answer for these mothers, which is: ‘Let the bloody child go to school if he wants, you selfish witch!’"
We have given our children more choices and control over their lives than you have, Simon. Would it make sense for me to suggest you should have let your daughter make up her own mind about brushing her teeth or not? Why does this make more or less sense than your answer to the school question?
Personally, I would let my child try school (and have done), but who am I to say that another parent should do the same for their child when I know very little about that child? How can you possibly know that your suggestion is *the* correct answer for that child? Sure, someone should suggest the possibility (and I've seen this suggestion made). But is it really *the* correct answer? I seem to recall you saying that you would not have given Simone that choice, but maybe my memory is failing (quite likely).