Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

I have lately been engaged in a soul-destroying and utter pointless exchange with a home educating parent. This contained so many of the familiar elements of the disputes that others have had with the more militant type of home educating parent, that I thought it worth rescuing from the relative obscurity of a thread on the comments and promoting it to a post of its own! Some readers might recollect that last year, the following appeal was circulated:

A well-known member of the HE community and trusted friend needs our help. The 
person's family is facing a possible court order and they felt the need to leave the country very quickly in order to protect the children from unfounded interference based on home education as a risk factor. 

Alison Preuss Barbara Stark Elaine Kirk Gill Kilner Karen Gallant Lisa Amphlett Louisa Herbs Maire StaffordMichelle BeenyNeil Taylor MooreRaquel ToneySheila StruthersSusanna MatthanTechla Wood


All the usual suspects there, and no mistake! A few months later, once the subject of this appeal was safely settled in Ireland, she began blogging about the reasons for her misfortunes. She was an autonomous home educator and mentioned some of the things that had irritated local authority officers about her lifestyle. Then, she explained about the incident which sparked the need to flee the country. She said:

A few months ago I shamefully attended a meeting about how to obtain Organic Food, leaving my young children in the care of their 17yr old brother.

Now the only possible construction which can be put upon those words is that the mother left her children alone in the house and that later on, it was judged that the seventeen year-old was not a competent person to be entrusted with the care of the younger children. I have no idea whether the local authority officers were justified in their beliefs about this; in other words, I do not know if  the boy was  sensible and reliable, a fit person to be left in charge of his younger siblings. However, it is certainly the case, at least according to the mother, that it was this which  triggered the supposed need for the  flight to Ireland.

One of the signatories  of the above letter was on here recently. It doesn't matter which one; they are all much of a muchness, in many ways. I recognised her name and said light-heartedly that:

I have just remembered, weren't you one of that gang who helped somebody slip out of the country and relocate to Ireland, in order to avoid answering all those awkward questions from social services about leaving her kids alone in the house?

So far, nothing to complain about; she was part of the group and the mother herself claims that it was leaving her kids alone in the house which led to awkward questions from social services. It was the reaction to this which I found fascinating!  This is what the woman who had signed the appeal said:

my friend did NOT leave her children alone in the house! She made good provision for their care, always has and always would. 

I think it's your propensity to make such unfounded and damaging assumptions about people that probably triggers the use of adjectives like 'demonic' about your writing. 

It's very neatly done, isn't it? I particularly like the bit about my, 'propensity to make unfounded and damaging assumptions'! Note too, the claim that the mother did NOT leave her children alone in the house. A couple of things strike one about this. The first is that the writer is, to all intents and purposes, telling a complete lie. She is inviting readers to think that I am making an unfounded assumption, when of course she knows perfectly well that it was leaving her children alone in the house which precipitated the crisis which led to this woman leaving the country. I think that she was gambling upon my not having read the mother's own account of the whole affair and thought that this lie would pass unremarked! Once she has been rumbled, she tries various other tactics, for example saying:

You assumed she left the children without appropriate care. 

Of course, I made no assumptions of any  sort; I simply reported what the mother herself had said! Then she claims that:

You are reaching wrong conclusions about this because you're not in full possession of the facts


You're reading what she said wrongly

It's hard to make any sense of this. The mother says that her troubles were brought about by leaving her children alone in the house and that this led to accusations by social services. Which is all that I said.

I have observed these tactics so often in the past; sometimes used against me, but also very often against anybody who asks too many questions about anything to do with home education.  Initially there is complete denial, frequently combined with a direct lie.  When that doesn't serve,  the wriggling and reproaches begin, ending invariably with a statement to the effect of; I'm simply not going to discuss this with you, because you're too horrible. It is worth bearing in mind that although I make allowances for this sort of nonsense, many of those against whom these methods are used do not; they are not home educators like me. When these people encounter foolishness, lies and deliberate evasion, they tend to make unfavourable judgments  about home educating parents in general. This can sometimes have unfortunate consequences, because it means that even normal and well-balanced parents get tarred with the same brush as some of the more, shall we say excitable, of the breed.