The
other day, somebody posted on one of the home education groups on Facebook,
saying that she was about to take her child from school and was trembling all
over and feeling tremendously emotional about the whole thing; in a dream-like
state. She asked if this was abnormal. The correct answer of course is that if
you react so violently to the prospect of making a new educational arrangement
for your child, whether changing schools or assuming responsibility yourself
for his education; then this is definitely not normal and you should see either
a doctor or a therapist of some kind. People don’t, or rather they should not, not if they are emotionally healthy, become hysterical every time a
child’s educational setting changes. This being the world of British home
educators, there was of course a mad stampede to reassure the woman that her
feelings were quite common for those sending letters to a head teacher.
The
feelings that those commenting on this post talked of, reminded me of varieties
of mystical religious experience; the sort of thing that people report when
they are slain in the spirit at an evangelical church, for instance, or have
just accepted Jesus as their saviour. Recollect, these are parents who have
simply made a new arrangement for their child’s education, nothing more. One mother had cried for two weeks, another
had slept for six weeks. One person cried and was nearly sick, somebody else was
shaking so much, it felt as though she was coming down with the flue. Words
such as ‘terrifying’ were bandied about, others were ‘scared stiff’.
All
this talk puts me in mind strongly of people who have made the decision to join
a cult or surrender themselves to some higher power. It is the language of
religion, rather than education. Here are parents who feel that they are
joining some movement or taking part in an experience which is greater than
them and they are seeking reassurance from others. This is frankly weird and I
can see how some such people end up being exploited emotionally by stronger
characters than themselves. These are vulnerable individuals, who are now desperately
seeking guidance and hoping to be told that they have done the right thing. Little
wonder that some fall under the spell of self-assured men and women who believe themselves
to be leaders of the home educating community. We shall be looking in greater
detail at this idea in the next few days.
I have seen you complain before Simon that families start home educating without considering the implications; surely you would welcome someone having some reservations about their choice?
ReplyDeleteOf course any parent arranging a new educational setting for a child should give it a great deal of thought! This happens routinely when a new school is being investigated, for example. No matter how much effort a parent has gone to to get the right school for their child though, and many go to the most extraordinary lengths to see that the child gets into a particular place, I have never heard of one sleeping for six weeks or crying for two after getting little Johnny into the correct school. This sort of mad and hysterical behaviour is limited to home educators.It is that which I find odd, not making an effort to ensure that your child's education is secured in the best way possible.
ReplyDeleteI think in part it's because home education is seen as somewhat deviant, so people worry particularly about it.
ReplyDeleteHello, women have often express emotions. And most of the population are much less sure of their own skills and potential than your good self. Xx
ReplyDeleteI've seen a lot of new home educators overreact in this way when posting on Internet forums. Personally, I think it's just a way of voicing their emotions online and using slightly hysterical language to 'break the ice' with other home-edders.
ReplyDeleteWhat I find far more worrying are the people who come on to the various groups and post something like,
"I've just deregistered little Juliet from school and now I really need to know how to get started, what to do, what curriculum to follow, etc. etc."
It rather worries me that someone would go so far as to actually deregister without having given any thought to what they would do afterwards.
It's something that seems to happen a hell of a lot.