The advice offered on internet lists for home educators

I have long been of the opinion that many of the ‘support groups’ for home educators  found on the internet, such as  the various  lists and facebook groups, are more trouble than they are worth for parents; offering advice which ranges from the singularly unhelpful to the positively mischievous.  A perfect example of this cropped up recently on the Education Otherwise list. It concerns a mother whose child has received an injury at a time that the family were already the  object of interest for social workers.

I mentioned a few days ago about the time that my own daughter received an injury about which I was asked. When these things happen, there are usually two possible courses one may take. The first  is to allay fears and let the thing fizzle out. The second is to escalate matters until your family is the focus of enormous interest by the local social services department. I chose the easier of these two options; many home educators seem to prefer the second choice; that of turning the case into a full-blown crisis.

Briefly, the mother of a home educated child asked for help. A social worker had contacted her  and visited her home. This woman wanted permission to speak to the child’s GP and the mother granted this. At once, we wonder what prompted such a request, but at any rate, something about the child’s medical history was obviously troubling somebody at social services. Subsequently, the child banged his head. The mother thought no more of this until they were passing the hospital and the child said that he would like to go to A & E because, ‘ he would like to go to A&E to see the doctors and nurses there because they were so nice.’  This is very odd. The mother agreed and after a short visit, they left.

Forty eight hours later, the child claimed to have a pain in his stomach and then passed out for ten minutes. An ambulance was called and the  boy was taken to the same A & E department. I am not a doctor or social worker, but already, alarm bells are ringing in my head! If  a child becomes unconscious for ten minutes, either there is something seriously wrong or the child or mother is faking it. At one point the kid says that his brain hurts and the next it is stomach. He is keen to talk to doctors and nurses. It will surprise nobody to learn that the social worker who had already visited, asking about the medical records, now got in touch and wished to speak to the family again as a matter or urgency.

Speaking for myself,  my main concern at this point would be that either (a.) my child was seriously ill with some neurological disorder or brain damage,  or that (b.) he was so desperately anxious to talk to professionals that he was feigning illness. This mother’s chief worry is about the legal rights of social workers to speak to her child or enter her home. Her anxiety is not for her son’s medical condition or anxiety but instead about things such as, ‘What exactly right do the social workers have upon situations as such?’, ‘What legal right do I have in dealing with their inquiry?’, ‘
Do I have a right to ask the social worker to give me at least the option of putting everything in writing via email or letter?’, ‘ How come they could have the right to come without giving me their full name or show me any official written information for the exact allegation?’


What advice has been offered  by other members of the list? Here is a sample:

Do not allow any sw to see your child alone. 

Never give them consent to have access to any records.

so be firm and refuse any further visits if you do not want them


I can imagine nothing more likely to turn this all into a serious investigation than to adopt a policy of not cooperating now with social workers.  There were already concerns about the child’s medical condition and then within forty eight hours, there were two visits to A & E. 

What is it with some home educating parents that causes them to offer such mad advice and to do their best to exacerbate any situation like this of which they hear?  The welfare of the child is barely mentioned in any of this. All anybody is concerned about is keeping social workers at bay.  

Home education lists on the Internet

Regular readers will probably be aware that six months ago I was thrown off all the home education lists of which I was a member. Perhaps there was some justification for this, although I obviously have a different and rather biased view of the matter! I still keep in touch with the lists though and I feel that it is time to say something about them.

I quite understand that these lists are in a sense a safe place for home educating parents; a place where they can express their fears and anxieties free of meddlesome and judgemental professionals. This is fair enough. The problem arises when parents join the lists who genuinely want objective information. Since these places are really just for parents and often ban professionals who are not actually home educating, this means inevitably that myths, old wives' tales, half-truths and downright lies proliferate. Perhaps this is inevitable. Another feature of the lists is that members soon learn that to ask too many questions or express scepticism about any aspect of home education is to invite at best derision and at worst anger. Anybody who says that she is thinking about deregistering her child is told that this is the best possible course of action and that she must go ahead and do it, regardless of the reservations felt by her family and friend.

Now of course, deregistering a bullied child may be the best course of action a parent can take. On the other hand, it may be a dreadful mistake, the consequences of which will exacerbate an already bad situation for a family. Without knowing all the details, it is quite impossible to say. Some bullied children are better out of school, others are not. Those offering advice though, always seem perfectly sure of themselves.

I have been thinking that it is a pity that a list could not be set up by the DCSF, for example, where parents who were home educating or who were considering this as an option could go. In addition to parents, various professionals would also spend a certain amount of time there, answering questions and offering advice. I would think that psychologists, speech therapists, teachers, social workers and local authority officers would all be good people to have on such a list. Then, when a parent asked about the idea of home education, apart from parents there would be people who could provide a few facts and perhaps point out the other side of any argument in favour of home education. For example, I frequently see people on the lists who say things which are hopelessly wrong and misinformed, and as things stand, nobody seems to correct them. Indeed, hopelessly wrong is putting the case mildly; some of them seem certifiably mad!

Many anxious and vulnerable parents join lists such HE-UK and EO because they really do not know what to do next. Invariably, they are encouraged to go ahead and take their kids out of school. I can't remember the last time anybody on either of those lists was advised to stop and think very carefully before taking such a serious step. (I did so once on the EO list and the moderator would not let my post through!)