Monday 10 January 2011

The wisdom of children

I regularly read stuff written by home educating parents of young children in which they talk of 'trusting my child's instincts' or 'knowing that she knows best', or similar nonsense. It is pretty plain to me that those saying this sort of thing are working from a fixed religious or ideological perspective, rather than basing their belief system pragmatically upon observation of the real world.

In some cultures, children are held to be the repositories of the collective wisdom of the tribe or nation; they are somehow assumed to have access to the collective unconsciousness or something of that sort. Elders might thus believe that a very young child will be able to guide them in a way that an older person may not. We saw this sort of mentality with the choice of the present Dalai Lama in the 1930s. This notion has not been popular in the industrialised west, at least not generally. The reason why few people today subscribe to such ideas is not hard to find. If my boiler packs up, I would not ask my eight year old daughter what is to be done about it. She would know little about the matter and it would not be fair to thrust responsibility for the business onto her. The same would apply if I were considering re-mortgaging my home; she would be the last person I would ask. The reason for this attitude is that children do not know as much as adults. they are less apt to view the world rationally and have little experience of solving practical, real life problems. For the same reason, an eight year old child would not be in a good position to decide upon the course of either her own or anybody else's education, nor the best course of her own or anybody else's future life. These things are beyond her experience and it would be unfair to pass this responsibility to her. Just as with the case of the new boiler or the re-mortgaging of the house, she would not have enough information or insight to make a sensible and informed decision upon this question.

There are nevertheless, parents to whom this seems a good idea. They claim that their child 'knows best' what she should be learning and they wish to trust their child's 'instincts'. As I said above, this touching faith in the ability of small child to make a rational and far-sighted choice about matters affecting her whole future life cannot possibly be founded upon observation of the thought processes of real children. Nobody in their senses would rely upon a child of six deciding what was wise and good , either for herself or others. These parents are usually following the advice that others have doled out to them. The people handing out this advice are seldom psychologists or researchers in the developmental processes of children. Rather they are parents themselves who have acquired their insight into the nature of childhood not by the patient collecting and collation of masses of data, but by a sudden, blinding insight. This is not science, but mysticism.

I have nothing against mysticism, but it is as well to be aware that this is what we are dealing here. The way that a conventional view about the way that the world works, including how children's minds work and how they are best able to learn, is the result of thousands upon thousands of pieces of observation and research. These individual pieces of data find their way into peer reviewed journals and books and are examined there by others, who then offer their criticism. In this way, a broad consensus is gradually built up. This is not of course an infallible process! Scientists make mistakes as well and sometimes a false theory will flourish for decades before it is demolished. However, when somebody comes along and tells scientists that they are completely wrong about something or other, whether it is Plate Tectonics, the necessity of vitamins or the uselessness of directing a child's education externally; the onus is upon those claiming that science has got it wrong to provide their evidence and let others see what they have.

7 comments:

  1. So do you think that the decisions a 6 year old makes about their education will have lifelong repercussions? What about a 10 year old, or a 13 year old? Do you think a 14 year old is incapable of looking beyond the next week or two in the same way as a much younger child?

    Your fear of allowing children to make their own decisions only makes sense if all decisions throughout their childhood are equally significant from age 0 to 18 and that they have the same decision making skills as an infant throughout this time. Allowing children to make decisions from a young age gives them the necessary experience and skills to enable them to make the more important later decisions.

    Also, do you really think that parents would behave in the same way with a child who has a long history of making poor decisions in the same way as one who has clearly progressed in their decision making abilities? Do you have such a low opinion of parental adaptability and care for their children? If one of my children were disabled in some way I would adapt my parenting appropriately. The inability to make rational decisions would be a disability I would have adapted to if necessary. I have learnt to trust my child by observing the outcomes of early, minor decisions that I had doubts about but turned out well for that child. Observing their success with less important decisions has taught me that I would have made the wrong decision for them in some cases.

    A cousin of mine has a child who is young for her age because of damage caused during birth. I would not expect her to bring this child up in an identical way with regards decision making as she does her other uninjured children. We adapt and learn as parents as much as children adapt and learn.

    We also do not leave them to make decisions without support and lots of information input. Obviously a young child who wants to jump from a high roof will want to be told that this is likely to cause their bones to break and will hurt a lot. They will not want their bones to break so they will take notice of the information provided by their parents. The parent/child group may decide to try jumping from increasingly higher points to test how high the child can jump from before it starts to hurt a little. Similar approaches can be taken with other decisions. Everyone within the parent/child group can work to find an approach that makes them all happy. The child learns about jump heights and the parents keep their child safe.

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  2. 'So do you think that the decisions a 6 year old makes about their education will have lifelong repercussions? '

    I have not the least doubt that the attitude which a child acquires at this age can have a lasting effect upon how she views education and learning in her future life.

    'Do you think a 14 year old is incapable of looking beyond the next week or two in the same way as a much younger child?'

    I think that a fourteen year-old can look a little further into the future than a six year old, perhaps weeks and months rather than a day or two.

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  3. "I have not the least doubt that the attitude which a child acquires at this age can have a lasting effect upon how she views education and learning in her future life."

    So do you think it would be wrong for a person to believe that they are capable of making decisions for themselves, as long as it's combined with the ability to research and learn about alternatives, much in the way I described the jumping from a high place decision? Or is it better for them to learn that those in authority over them are better placed to make decisions for them?

    "I think that a fourteen year-old can look a little further into the future than a six year old, perhaps weeks and months rather than a day or two."

    I know fourteen year-olds who are capable of looking years into the future. I also know young adults who were able to make decisions at 14 and they are happy with the consequences now. Maybe the 14 years olds you know behave as they do because they did not learn to make supported decisions from a young age or alternatively were thrown in at the deep end without sufficient support and advice. Either is as bad as the other in my opinion.

    Luckily we are all free to choose our own approach to parenting, adjusting our style to individual children and their reactions. I think it would be a big mistake to attempt to impose a style on everyone, something that has never happened successfully in history as far as I'm aware. But maybe you know otherwise? Would you want to attempt such an experiment?

    BTW, your examples of boiler problems and mortgages are irrelevant. A child is highly unlikely to be interested in either so would not want to make decisions about them. I don't think anyone want to force children to make decisions they have no interest in. However, they are likely to want to make decisions about what, when and how to study, what games to play, what foods to eat, etc, and these decisions are perfectly possible for children (with support and advice).

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  4. ' I don't think anyone want to force children to make decisions they have no interest in.'

    And yet certain ways of raising children do precisely this. If I decide not to set out a plan of study for a child, the the onus falls upon her to make a choice about learning and studying. My decision not to plan for her has had the effect of forcing her to make a decision. This may well be a good thing, but it cannot be denied that a decision is being thrust upon a child in this situation.

    'Or is it better for them to learn that those in authority over them are better placed to make decisions for them?'

    I never thought of myself as being in authority over my daughter because I was her father. I felt that I had responsibilities towards her and duties. I certainly felt that until she reached the age of reason, it was my duty to make many decisions on her behalf.

    ' Would you want to attempt such an experiment?'

    Is the question here, whether I feel that my own methods of childrearing are so wise and good that they should be universally adopted? If so then the answer if no! I am happy for those who wish to send their children to school to do that and for those who wish to assume responsibility themselves for educating their children to be able to do that.

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  5. "And yet certain ways of raising children do precisely this. If I decide not to set out a plan of study for a child, the the onus falls upon her to make a choice about learning and studying."

    Or they could ask us to organise if for them if they prefer. But the choice of what to learn about is hardly arduous, it's just a case of following interests. We offer them lots of ideas by taking part to activities, museum trips, sports, library, having lots of books around, etc and the the child lets us know if they want to do or know more about whatever takes their interest. You might just as well say that leaving them to choose the next game they play with their friends is forcing them to make decisions.

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  6. "'I don't think anyone want to force children to make decisions they have no interest in.'

    And yet certain ways of raising children do precisely this. If I decide not to set out a plan of study for a child, the the onus falls upon her to make a choice about learning and studying."

    How is this forcing them to make decisions about something they have no interest in? Unless you are suggesting that there are children (who have not been damaged) with no interests, no intrinsic motivation and no drive to learn anything at all?

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  7. "If my boiler packs up, I would not ask my eight year old daughter what is to be done about it."

    LOL

    Neither would I but I might in the matter of how she learns about the world she's growing up in keep my mouth shut and observe rather than tell her what I think she should be doing.

    Of course I would need to be there *to* observe. Neglect and freedom of choice are not the same thing (and neither is total freedom of choice possible I think).

    Some people might say it's not the child that has the wisdom it's the child's biology. I might be one of them. :-)

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