Wednesday 11 July 2012

Educating bullied children at home

According to what little research has been conducted in this country about home education, one of the main reasons for deregistering children from school and educating them at home is because they have been bullied at school. The Education Otherwise survey in 2003 found this, as did the study by York Consulting in 2007. It is probably a fair guess that this is still the chief motive for the home education of previously schooled children in Britain.


One of the problems with bullied children is that they all too often go on to become bullied teenagers and then bullied adults as well. You frequently find that a child who was bullied at primary school, even if he is transferred to a secondary school where nobody knows him will be bullied there as well. Just as there is a bullying type of child, so too is there a bullied kind of child. It is a complicated subject, but the Americans have name for this; they call it ’victim precipitation’. It is nothing to the purpose here to consider why some children are prone to being bullied, it is enough to realise that it happens. In such cases, withdrawing the child from school and educating him at home is not always the best course of action; not by a long chalk.

Some of those children who get picked on are socially awkward, others might be on the autistic spectrum. There are also those whose home background might have made them appear a little strange to their classmates. It only takes something slightly different and out of the ordinary to attract the attention of the bullying type. I hope this does not sound like victim-blaming, because it is nothing of the sort. I am rather thinking about how things are in the real world. Unfortunately, colleges and the workplace can mirror the situation in schools. The peculiar work colleague can also come to the attention of those of a bullying disposition and have his or her life made a misery in the workplace.

If a child is  slightly different from others and has as a result been bullied, then withdrawing him from school and causing him to spend all day with an adult is unlikely to help him be more like his peers. Indeed, it is likely to have quite the opposite effect. If after spending years like this, he then goes to college, then the slight differences in the eight year-old might have grown into the frankly odd behaviour of the young man of sixteen. The bullying can then begin anew. I know of a number of cases where this has happened.

I am perfectly well aware that many schools fail lamentably to tackle bullying with sufficient rigour. Obviously, no parent will stand by and see her child being picked on and taking him away from the bullies can often seem the best solution. It may well be a good short term solution, but it is also quite possible that by doing this one is storing up even more trouble for the child in the future. Ideally, the school and other services should help the child; try to find out whether there is a way of preventing him from providing such a tempting target to bullies. This could be done by psychological assessments, counselling and behavioural therapy. Of course the bullies should also be dealt with ruthlessly; they too need help to make them behave like decent human beings and not like cruel young savages.

All parents fight fiercely to protect their children and will do anything at all that they feel necessary to look after their interests. If schools were to do their job properly and deal with bullying by referring both bullies and bullied to the appropriate services, then a lot of home education would no longer be necessary. I cannot think in general that it is healthy for children who are having difficulty surviving in a group of their peers, to be taken out of this social setting to spend all day with their mums. At the very least, it will hardly serve to make them more normal and like other children of their age! Perhaps when the Education Committee considers what support local authorities are providing for home educated children, this is something at which they could look. By putting in enough resources and help earlier on when problems rear their head, it might not be necessary for most of those children to be taken out of school  in the first place.

Incidentally, may I beg anybody commenting on this piece not to use the neologism 'bullicide', nor to repeat claims that sixteen children a year are driven to suicide by bullying? A couple of charities make a good income from bullying and they have a vested interest in the phenomenon; it is what brings in their funding. The 'sixteen suicides a year' gag is part of their mythology and bears no relation to the real situation.

27 comments:

  1. " I cannot think in general that it is healthy for children who are having difficulty surviving in a group of their peers, to be taken out of this social setting to spend all day with their mums."

    Do they spend all day with their mums? Our are they like other HE children who attend local HE and other groups, and meet up and play with friends regularly? I've not seen any research that suggests that previously bullied HE children are more segregated than unbullied HE children.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 'I've not seen any research that suggests that previously bullied HE children are more segregated than unbullied HE children.'

    Nor was I suggesting any such thing. When I said spending all day with their mums, I meant of course that being at home with their mother from 9 to 3 on Monday to Friday would be the default setting; rather than being at school. Of course many home educated children attend groups and belong to clubs.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I would have thought that spending time with children but in a more closely supervised situation than is generally available in schools would be better from the point of view of the childs development and recovery from bullying. I'm sure bullying happens within HE, but in my experience it hasn't been brushed under the carpet as it sometimes is in schools. Though I have heard of less ideal local situations on email lists.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 'I would have thought that spending time with children but in a more closely supervised situation than is generally available in schools would be better from the point of view of the childs development and recovery from bullying'

    I'm sure that that is true. The problem is that supervised groups, where friendly adults are qucik to step in, do not really attack the root problem. The aim really should be to get children to be able to hold their own in large group settings and not give out the kind of signals which attract the attention of those who are disposed to be bullies. This is in the best interests of the buulied child and will help him prepare for future life. By the age of sixteen, almost all young people will regularly be in situations with those of the same age that are not, 'closely supervised'. Strategies for getting by in those situations are vital for all children.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "The aim really should be to get children to be able to hold their own in large group settings and not give out the kind of signals which attract the attention of those who are disposed to be bullies."

    But the more closely supervised group situation can be used to spot what's going wrong and this may help with suggestions for changes in behaviour and strategies (and this doesn't mean that the children are under the eyes of adults at all times, but just have easy access to them as necessary). It just seems wrong to leave them to either sink or swim alone as often happens in schools, or to wrap them in cotton wool and segregate them. There must be a middle ground where serious harm is avoided but development of skills is possible.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "There must be a middle ground where serious harm is avoided but development of skills is possible."

    And I meant to add, that this seems more possible within HE than schools and it's something I've seen work in practice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Simon, you say,
      "By the age of sixteen, almost all young people will regularly be in situations with those of the same age that are not, 'closely supervised'. Strategies for getting by in those situations are vital for all children."

      While that's true, the difference in later life is that most of us have the option of walking away should we find ourselves being abused. I imagine this is why institutions that have such poor records on bullying (prisons, schools, armed forces) tend to be those where people cannot get away. I don't mean to suggest that 'running away' is always the best option but I do think that schools often find it hard to sort out bullying because children just don't have the freedom to get themselves out of danger. Whatever coping strategies someone might employ, the freedom to just walk away, leave a room or turn your back is pretty vital and it's something that schools just can't provide.

      Delete
  7. Hello,

    As this blog piece relates to something I was recently reading, I recommend taking a look at

    The Association of Suicide and Bullying in Childhood
    to Young Adulthood: A Review of Cross-Sectional and
    Longitudinal Research Findings

    by Anat Brunstein Klomek, PhD; Andre Sourander, MD; Madelyn Gould, PhD,MPH.

    It was published in the Canadian Journal of Psychiatry but is available freely to read just through a good old Google!

    ReplyDelete
  8. There are plenty of bullies that attend home ed meetings and gatherings, both adults and children. It's all rather odd that many children that attend meetings are 'withdrawn' from school due to being bullied and yet schools are excluding just as many for bullying behaviours.

    ReplyDelete
  9. 'schools often find it hard to sort out bullying because children just don't have the freedom to get themselves out of danger.'

    Most bullying does not involve danger. It may be unpleasant and distressing; but it is not really dangerous. Mind, I agree that schools can be places where there is no escape and obviously I would have taken my own child out of a situation which was distressing her when she was small. I am just pointing out that our initial reactions as parents are not always the best long term solution.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course bullying is dangerous to a child. Danger encompasses more than immediate physical danger, just read the research. From what I've read, given the dose-related harmful effects, the reaction of parents to remove their child from bullying is the best long term solution if the school is failing to prevent bullying. A prospective cohort study also found that bullying causes psychological problems as opposed to existing psychological problems making the child a victim in the first place.

      ""Furthermore, studies have observed a dose–response relationship between the frequency of bullying victimization and levels of psychotic symptoms (Lataster et al. 2006; Campbell & Morrison, 2007). These findings suggest that detrimental effects of bullying upon individuals' mental health may extend to delusions, auditory and visual hallucinations.

      Studies have demonstrated that the effects of bullying victimization go beyond the development of depression, anxiety and social exclusion. Problems experienced by victims are not merely minor difficulties but include severe problems such as psychotic symptoms and suicidal ideations. More work is needed to further develop our knowledge on the victimization risk associated with psychotic symptoms.
      "

      Bullying victimization in youths and mental health problems: ‘Much ado about nothing’?
      L. Arseneaulta, L. Bowesa and S. Shakoora
      Psycological Medicine
      http://dx.doi.org/10.1017/S0033291709991383

      Delete
  10. 'There are plenty of bullies that attend home ed meetings and gatherings, both adults and children'

    Yes, I am aware of this. In fact I have received quite a few emails from parents who have either been bullied themselves at home educating groups or whose children have been shoved around. A common complaint is that when they draw the attention of the child's parents to the bullying, the parent denies everything and becomes aggressive. Some of these emails have named specific people and I do not want to go into too much detail about this.

    It is of course worth remembering that not all those home educators who have taken their kids out of school are the parents of bullied children. Some of those children are bullies themselves and their parents are determined to ignore this. I think I might write about this soon, as it is a subject that is seldom mentioned. In fact one or two well known home educating parents who claim to have taken their children out of school because of bullying are, according to some, bullying types themelves!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course there are bullies at HE meetings. Somewhere upwards of 10% of the population are bullies, so it's next to impossible to avoid them without cloistering yourself away from others at home (assuming there are no bullies within the family, of course). But there are still advantages to HE for the bullied child as mentioned above. Relatively easy access to adults and the chance to escape from the bully, for instance. HE is more like adult life than school in this context as Allie has already pointed out.

      And of course, bullying is not without harm for the bully, especially the bully-victim who is both bully and victim at different times. It would probably be a good idea for all groups (not just HE) to receive training in recognising and dealing with bullying in society in general.

      Delete
  11. 'Whatever coping strategies someone might employ, the freedom to just walk away, leave a room or turn your back is pretty vital and it's something that schools just can't provide'

    Nor of course can homes. A lot of bullying of children takes place in a domestic setting and here the child is at an even greater disadvantage. He only spends a few hours a day at school; he actually lives at home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, there are associations between child maltreatment at home for both bullies and victims. Many factors increase the risk of a child becoming a bully or a victim, such as low socio-economic status, parental depression, domestic violence, large schools, academic performance and prosocial behaviour have all been found to have associations with victimisation (incidentally, parenting including emotional warmth, rejection and overprotection were not found to be associated with becoming a victim).

      But these factors may have quite small effects and they cannot explain all cases. For instance, one study found that 10% of a non-maltreated group of children became victims and 11% became bullies, whilst 22% of a maltreated group of children became victims and 25% of them became bullies. So maltreatment just over doubled the risk of becoming a victim or bully, but it was there without maltreatment too.

      http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1207/S15374424JCCP3003_7

      With all the evidence of harm out there, it's amazing that so many schools still brush bullying under the carpet (though obviously there are some good examples).

      Delete
  12. 'Of course bullying is dangerous to a child. Danger encompasses more than immediate physical danger'

    This is true and it is probably my fault for not making myself clear. When Allie said that, 'schools often find it hard to sort out bullying because children just don't have the freedom to get themselves out of danger.', I assumed that she was talking of the risk of physical harm. That long term psychological damage can be caused by bullying is indisputable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I assumed Allie meant any kind of harm or danger. I'm sure that children on the receiving end of bullying 'know' that it is harmful to them without needing to know details of the actual long term psychological risks to their mental health.

      Delete
  13. 'it's amazing that so many schools still brush bullying under the carpet '

    I agree completely and it is fast hard action that is needed at the first sign of trouble, targeting both bully and victim, which is needed here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And until that happens, there are definite long term health advantages to removing a child from the school, either to move schools or HE.

      Delete
  14. 'And until that happens, there are definite long term health advantages to removing a child from the school, either to move schools or HE.'

    I'm less sure about this. As I said, some childrne bullied at primary have gone onto secondary schools where nobody knows them and then become victims of bullying all over again.It is better to find out why a person is being bullied, as well as trying to establish why the bully is behaving like that. just changing schools or removing the child from school entirely will not really help either bullies or the bullied.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Obviously this would happen in an ideal world - part of changing schools should mean that both the bully and victim are helped to change if necessary (though obviously its not always 'caused' be a victim, sometimes it is just a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time).

      But as I said, until this happens, the dose-dependent nature of the harm caused by bullying means that removing children from bullying situations has long term positive benefits to their mental health. If less harm is done to their mental health, they will be better able to cope with bullying situations and life in general as adults. Leaving them in a bad situation just increases mental health issues, making it all the harder for them to cope even with a normal life, let alone life with bullying, as adults.

      Delete
  15. Yes, I was indeed talking about all kinds of danger. I don't imagine there are many of us who haven't seen or experienced the devastating damage that can be done from slow, persistent undermining of someone.

    Of course that damage can happen in lots of settings and home can, sadly, be one of those. I still think that the freedom to leave is key. That's why refuges for those fleeing domestic violence are important. It's also why some people need the freedom to leave school.

    I don't think it's wise to generalise about what is the best long-term solution for someone who has experienced bullying - those people have to work it out for themselves. I am, however, pretty sure that increasing a sense of freedom and autonomy is part of most people's recovery. For some children the first step to that is probably a decision to home educate, for others it may not be.

    ReplyDelete
  16. It's an amazing post designed for all the online visitors; they will obtain advantage from it I am sure.

    My blog post: xerox Phaser 8560 error codes

    ReplyDelete
  17. Issue address with Samsung ML-1520 on WIN 8 Pro
    64 bit.
    Thanks to you !!!!!!
    Wonderful !
    !!!!!

    Visit my page; www.losside.com

    ReplyDelete
  18. I would value it significantly if you would deliver me an
    e-mail content of Make PCB utilizing a laser printer.

    If available, I would such as to have any of
    the write-up discussed in your blog post. Thanks !!

    my weblog; bayfieldeec.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  19. I always used to study piece of writing in
    news papers but now as I am a user of net therefore from now I am using net for articles, thanks
    to web.

    My blog - pilgrim jewellery online

    ReplyDelete
  20. Greate pieces. Keep writing such kind of info on your page.
    Im really impressed by your blog.
    Hi there, You've performed an excellent job. I'll certainly digg it and for my
    part suggest to my friends. I am confident they will be benefited from this site.


    my homepage pilgrim jewellery uk sale

    ReplyDelete